Many will tell you it is not rational to fear death. Why worry about non-existence, they ask. They are right, but I still do. It’s only natural I guess, an innate part of us that some can overcome but many, myself included, can’t. Some suggest we seek solace in the legacy we leave behind us after we’ve gone. Children perhaps, the memories others hold of us, the ripples of the good we have done. Yet I have no children, memories will too die with those who hold them, and ripples fade away to nothing over time. Anyway, even if I could console myself a little in that way, I’m not sure how much effect it would have chasing away the fear of death.

So, what to do? Especially as, entering my 60s, I’m aware that death is no longer the distant prospect it once was. My answer is to remind myself that time spent worrying about it is precious time wasted for no purpose. It will make no difference to the inevitable end of my life, just sap the pleasure I can enjoy in the meanwhile. The one little piece of good I can draw from the occasional pang of fear is to see it as a reminder to make the most of what life is left to me. I would like to think that will be many years, but I need to be conscious that I may not be so fortunate.

I’m lucky that I am retired now and can focus on making the most of the time remaining. I hope that, when the end does come I can look back on my life with some satisfaction, or at least the minimum of regrets.

Ideally, if we live a full life, when the end comes we should be ready to meet it, perhaps even welcome it. Endings of any kind necessarily embody sadness, and in one’s ending of endings the sadness is intensified. Yet endings can also embody satisfactions: in having stayed the course, having achieved things, having put more in than one has taken out.

I have had a disjointed, though colourful, life. I suppose those two are related. There is a danger, particularly in ‘developed’ countries, of seeing success in life as being defined by material accumulation rather than the development of enlightenment, knowledge and wisdom. It is fine to accumulate wealth provided we do so by doing something we love.

Another corrosive issue is safety culture. One aspect of this is keeping life going when there is no life left in life. I intend to plan my exit and be present at my wake, which I hope will be a hell of a party. I found the book ‘Chocolat’ by Joanne Harris an inspiration for this.

My greatest satisfactions are in having effected positive change through doing things which I have taken delight in. I also get a kick out of confounding expectations. I think it is true that as one gets older one regrets more the things one has not done, due to lack of courage, than the mistakes one has made due to poor judgement. Another regret is not appreciating things enough, which I expect is quite common.

A peculiarity of my life is that, after experiencing poor health in childhood, my health has gradually improved as I have aged. This has led to me feeling more light-hearted. Thus, in the autumn of my years, I am enjoying the occasional spurt of late flowering immaturity.