At Laurie’s naming there was a choir. Sadie’s was in a park, where her dad sang and played guitar to her. For Henry there was a marquee in the garden. And Zoe and Hannah’s party was upstairs at a pub. Jane’s parents planted a tree for her, festooned with wishes.
Whether it’s an elaborate event or a simple gathering at home, during my 13 years as a Namings celebrant I always make sure that each ceremony is unique and personal. Parents are always closely involved in deciding the form of the ceremony and in choosing readings.
For most of my career I’ve been committed to humanist values, so when I left my post as Dean of Media, Arts and Design at the University of Westminster, becoming a celebrant seemed like a natural next step.
Before that I was for many years editor of BBC Radio 4’s Woman’s Hour, s progrsmme which offers so many women the opportunity to share their experiences, I was fascinated by all of their stories, so much so that I’ve now written a book, Golden Girls: Advice and Inspiration for Today’s Grandmothers, which includes examples of own ceremonies to demonstrate just how moving and joyful namings can be.
They are celebrations of the arrival of a new person into the family, the circle of friends, and into the world. They mark a rite of passage, and provide an opportunity for everyone to express their hopes and dreams for the child, and to make promises as parents and guide parents.
Guests may be asked to write wishes or advice, to be hung on a tree or pinned to a board. Some parents distribute seeds for people to plant in honour of the baby. And I’m always moved by the love and warmth of these events.
From time immemorial people have celebrated the rites of passage in their lives. Parents and families often want a meaningful way that is non-religious to celebrate the safe arrival of a child into their family. To raise children without formal religion is not, of course, to raise them without values. Parents who choose a humanist naming believe that children should be free to make their own choice about what they each believe when they are older. So the ceremonies I conduct are based on humanist philosophy, centred on concern for our fellow human beings, while being tolerant tolerant of other beliefs. As humanists, we believe that we need to make the most of the one life we have as resourceful, self-reliant, realistic and constructive human beings.
