I’ve been conducting humanist funerals for 13 years. It’s a privilege to be able to help grieving families through the most harrowing times. For most of my career I’ve been committed to humanist values, so when I left my post as Dean of Media, Arts and Design at the University of Westminster, becoming a celebrant seemed like a natural next step.
I gained extensive experience of public speaking during my years at the BBC as editor of BBC Radio 4’s Woman’s Hour. I’ve always been passionately committed to feminism, equalopportunities and everyone’s rights to a fair, ethical life with or without religion. During my years on the programme, which offered so many women the opportunity to share their experiences, I was fascinated by all of their stories, so much so that I’ve now written a book, Golden Girls: Advice and Inspiration for Today’s Grandmothers, which encompasses all of these principles.
I believe that Humanists UK’s funerals are a vitally important, much-needed service. They aim not just to mourn those who have died but to celebrate them and to offer comfort to those left behind. It’s also very liberating for people to feel free to choose exactly the ceremony they want. There are no rules or set rituals for humanists. But we do have a huge store of advice, especially when it comes to choosing appropriate readings and music. Having run so many events and programmes featuring different kinds of music and literature, I have lots of ideas for making your ceremony special, and will work with you to create a personal and meaningful farewell.
As a funeral celebrant I always meet with close family and often friends to get a sense of the person who has died. I aim to paint a portrait which is designed not merely to help the bereaved to mourn the person they have lost, but to capture their personality: to ‘bring them to life’.
Sometimes people want a simple ceremony; others something more elaborate with multiple speakers and even live music. In every case though, I will help to plan and deliver a personal and reflective funeral which is both respectful and, at times, joyful.
Humanist ceremonies have no religious content. That usually means no mention of God or afterlife and no hymns although sometimes a family will ask for a hymn to be included even though they want a secular funeral. As humanists, we respect everyone’s rights to their own personal beliefs. I will offer a time for a silent or private reflection as needed by individual families.
