On National Coming Out Day, we want to celebrate not only the beautiful weddings we have performed but also the rich heritage of LGBT+ Humanists. When it comes to humanist weddings, love is the only tradition we insist on. Marriage equality is something that has always been dear to our hearts. Whether it is humanist couples having the right to marry in a way that reflects their deepest beliefs and values, in a ceremony conducted by someone who shares them, just as their religious counterparts can, or same-sex marriage being enshrined in law.
At Humanists UK, that’s what we’ve always believed. We were celebrating LGBT+ love long before the law caught up, and our support for LGBT+ people isn’t lip service. It’s woven into our history, and it’s part of who we are.
If you’re an LGBT+ couple planning your wedding, an LGBT+ humanist wedding connects your day to a proud story of love, courage, and equality, and gives you a ceremony that is wholly, wonderfully yours.
Love is the only tradition we insist on
Humanism is the idea that we can live good, meaningful lives without religion, guided by reason, empathy, and kindness. For humanists, love between two people is something to celebrate, whoever they are and however they love.
There’s no religious doctrine to work around and no one to ask permission from. You’ll never have to justify who you are. A humanist celebrant’s only job is to tell your love story and honour what makes your relationship special.
Our LGBT+ heritage: celebrating love before the law did
Our story begins in the 19th century, with freethinkers who set aside religious rules about love and built lifelong same-sex partnerships, with no law or church to bless them.
The writer Vernon Lee, an avowed agnostic, met the artist Clementina Anstruther-Thomson in 1887. They became lovers, collaborators, and lifelong companions. In 1898, the radical writer Edward Carpenter set up home with his partner George Merrill near Sheffield. They lived openly together for 30 years, at a time when love between men was a crime.
Carpenter went on to help found the British Society for the Study of Sex Psychology in 1914, alongside fellow freethinkers such as Laurence Housman, later Vice President of the Ethical Union, which became Humanists UK. Together they called for ‘more rational attitudes to sexuality’.
These couples had no ceremony the law would recognise. But their love was no less significant, and they lived out a conviction that still guides us: love between consenting adults deserves celebration, not judgement.
A century later, in 1979, activists founded the Gay Humanist Group in Brighton, in the wake of the Gay News blasphemy trial. Its first president, the writer Maureen Duffy, described its outlook as “an ethics of compassion”. That group lives on today as LGBT+ Humanists, a proud part of Humanists UK.
Pioneering LGBT+ ceremonies in the 1980s and 1990s
While the law still said no, humanists simply got on with celebrating. In 1987, a humanist gay affirmation ceremony was broadcast on Channel 4’s Network 7, one of the first times an LGBT+ commitment ceremony had been seen on British television. Joyful mass ceremonies followed, including at London’s Hippodrome nightclub.
In 1992, campaigner George Broadhead co-founded the Pink Triangle Trust, which offered humanist affirmation ceremonies to LGBT+ couples. That was more than a decade before civil partnerships, and over 20 years before same-sex marriage became law.
Those ceremonies carried no legal weight, but they meant the world. They told couples that their love was real, special, and worth witnessing, and that they had a community ready to celebrate with them. You can hear memories from that time in our LGBT+ oral histories.
Campaigning for equality in law: the 2000s and 2010s
As the law began to catch up, we were there pushing it forward. In 2001, we campaigned for same-sex couples to be able to join the London Partnership Register. That scheme later inspired the Civil Partnership Act 2004, which we supported as it gave same-sex couples legal recognition across the UK for the first time.
But a separate status was never full equality. We were a founding member of the Coalition for Equal Marriage. Alongside Stonewall, we were one of the two main organisations campaigning for the Marriage (Same Sex Couples) Bill. Thousands of our members and supporters wrote to their MPs, and members of the All-Party Parliamentary Humanist Group helped get it through Parliament. In the final House of Lords debate, Baroness Thornton, speaking for Labour’s front bench, congratulated ‘the British Humanist Association [as we were then known], Andrew Copson its chief executive and his team’.
The first same-sex couples married in England and Wales on 29 March 2014. Peter McGraith and David Cabreza were the first, marrying just after midnight. Peter, a humanist, said: ‘I myself would have chosen a humanist ceremony if that had been available [i.e. legally recognised].’ In Scotland, where humanist marriages are legally recognised, the first two same-sex marriages were both humanist.
The 2013 Act also gave the Government the power to legally recognise humanist marriages in England and Wales. More than a decade on, that power has still not been used.
What does this history have to do with my wedding?
Your wedding day is one of the most special and significant moments you’ll ever share. It deserves to be celebrated exactly as you are, surrounded by the people who love you, and led by someone who truly sees you both.
At Humanists UK, that’s what we’ve always believed. Humanists were celebrating LGBT+ love long before the law caught up, and our support for LGBT+ people isn’t new or occasional. It’s woven into our history, and it’s part of who we are.
If you’re an LGBT+ couple planning your wedding, an LGBT+ humanist wedding connects your day to a proud story of love, courage, and equality, and gives you a ceremony that is truly yours.
Your story is our story
When you choose a humanist wedding, you become part of a story that stretches back more than a century.
Whether you dream of something timelessly traditional or completely radical, Humanists UK is here to make your day as special and significant as you are.
Find your humanist wedding celebrant and start planning a ceremony that’s yours in every way.
Want to explore more? Discover the people behind our LGBT+ heritage on Humanist Heritage, or join LGBT+ Humanists.
*A note on the law
Humanist weddings are legally recognised in Scotland, Northern Ireland, Jersey, and Guernsey. In England and Wales, couples currently need a short civil registration too, though many tell us their humanist ceremony is the one that feels like their real wedding.
In July 2026, the Government set out plans to recognise humanist marriages. We’re urging it to act without delay, so every couple can have the wedding they want, with the legal status they deserve.
