I've been writing and conducting non-religious wedding, partnership and vow renewal ceremonies since 2012, and I entirely love it.
We’ll find exactly the right mix of words, music, tradition, novelty, fun, seriousness, old and new to reflect you. And don’t worry: if (like me when I got married) the notion of crafting vows or declaring your feelings in your own way fills you with fear and embarrassment, that’s fine too: simple and dignified is just as good as free-spirited and emotional. It’s all about what works for you.
I love:
- Getting to know you properly. That's what makes a lovely ceremony. My aim is that by the time your wedding comes round, people are asking how many years we've known each other.
- Finding the little moments in your story that led to everything else. The tiny events that, if they'd gone differently, would have changed the whole thing. (I wrote a passage in The Little Book of Humanist Weddings about the magic of these things.)
- Crafting words really carefully so that they make you smile at all the right moments. A wedding can feel like a performance to others, and—let's be honest—it sort of is. But I hope I can bring a smile, a laugh or a tear to your eyes too.
- Sharing that incredible nervous moment with you just before things begin. That's always when I remember what a privilege it is to be going through this with you.
- Spending time with you in a place that's beautiful or meaningful to you. Some of my favourites are The Orangery at Settrington near Malton, The Hospitium in York, Hutton Wandesley Stables near York, The Normans near York, White Syke Fields near York, Grays Court tucked just behind York Minster... we really are spoiled for choice round here.
I take a pride in:
- Meeting guests who tell me, afterwards, “I've never been to a humanist wedding before, and now I'm definitely going to have one myself.” Or, better still, “I didn't expect to approve of this because it wasn't in a church/mosque/synagogue, but it was brilliant.” My aim is for everyone to be able to relate to it and share in your happiness. Weddings are for togetherness, after all.
- Still being in touch with many couples months or years after their ceremony. Let me know how you’re getting on!
This is an important step, and it’s important that you choose the right option—and the right celebrant—for you. I can guarantee that I'll be happy to talk to you while you decide, answer any questions and help you think things through - no pressure or obligation.