My Approach to Non-Religious Ceremonies
Celebrating the life of someone close to us is a loving way to mark them when they are gone.I am passionate about making sure this is done right, because we only have one chance. Increasingly, there is a desire to have a more personalised event. Everyone is different, so the event needs to be too. For this reason the celebrations of life, interments or more traditional funerals I offer are unique to each person they honour. I am proud to say that a congregation member will often ask me afterwards, how I knew the person we are remembering. Ninety percent of the time, I never got to meet them.
As an atheist and humanist, I offer non-religious ceremonies because for people who have lived without a religious faith, it can be a fitting way to say goodbye. I have the utmost respect those who do have a religious belief, but my approach offers choice.
What I do
I endeavour to meet with every family so they can tell me all about their loved one, their life, their loves, everything that is important. We also talk about what exactly should be included, whether it is poetry, readings, funny stories or even tv theme tunes! Sometimes people want to speak, but are unsure what to say, so I can help them write their eulogy, or suggest a poem if they prefer.
After I have put together a draft, I go through it with the family to ensure the tone and the contents are right. I maintain good communication throughout the process, so I am able to answer any concerns, or accommodate any changes. If there is a theme, for example a special colour or badge to be worn, I will always do my best to join in.
My Background
With a background in teaching psychology for 25 years, I have a wealth of experience that lends itself to being a celebrant. It allows me to write tributes with sensitivity and speak confidently with feeling. In addition, I understand loss from personal experience, allowing me to speak to family members and friends with empathy.
Me in Life
In other areas of my life I occasionally tutor students of psychology, I am a keen motorcyclist who likes to tour parts of Europe by bike (usually singing very loudly – and badly, as I go). And I have four beautiful, but very needy cats, who each seem to have a bed in almost every room in the house.
