As a nation, we don’t like talking about death until it happens. People worry that speaking about what they want for a funeral will be seen as upsetting and morbid. Yet as the recent death of beloved naturalist, comedian and humanist Bill Oddie reminded us, speaking candidly about how we want to be remembered is a real help to the ones we leave behind.
Bill Oddie spent decades bringing the wonders of the natural world into millions of living rooms across the UK. He taught us to love the natural world around us with honesty and warmth.
In the same way, he brought a refreshing honesty to the conversation around his own mortality. Long before his death, Oddie openly shared his funeral wishes:
‘I’m an atheist, so I will have a humanist funeral. I want to come in to “Nothing Compares 2 U by Prince” and disappear to “Cocktails For Two” by Spike Jones.’
He spoke of having his ashes scattered on Hampstead Heath, a place near his home that held a lifetime of memories. He wanted to be remembered as someone ‘who told the truth’ and in being honest about death and expressing his wishes, he has likely saved his family the difficult task of guessing what sort of funeral he wanted.
Maybe it shouldn’t be a surprise he was so candid about death, it is after all just part of the natural world. In just a few sentences, Oddie stripped away the awkwardness that so often surrounds death. He showed that talking about (or even planning your own) funeral isn’t about morbid dwelling. As many are realising, it’s an act of self-expression and care for those we leave behind.
By speaking about how we want to be remembered, we can help our loved ones with the burden of planning a funeral, and help make sure they benefit from a ceremony that truly reflects the person who has died: a celebration of life.
When we talk openly about our funeral preferences, we spare our loved ones from guessing during their darkest moments of grief. Planning ahead helps make sure your funeral reflects who you truly were. Your quirks, your passions, and the things that mattered to you in life.
As Bill Oddie demonstrated throughout his life, being open about death allows us to face the end with grace, warmth, and even a bit of laughter. Maybe it is time that we are all more open about what we want after our death too?
