No one can say that Sarah and Ravi rushed into marriage. After nearly a quarter of a century together, the two of them knew exactly what they wanted: a wedding that was fun, family-orientated and that told the story of their relationship.

It’s hard for Sarah and Ravi to remember a time when they didn’t know each other. “We’re from the same area – a tight knit community in West Bromwich – and we went to the same school. We’ve always known each other,” explains Ravi. “We were only teenagers when we got together.”

Having our children there made the day special

“People ask, ‘why did it take you so long to get married?’ But we did it when we wanted to. The fact is that having our children there with us made the day for us.”

“That’s what made the day so special,” agrees Sarah. “Our son was the best man, our older daughter was the maid of honour, the twins were bridesmaids, and the five-year old was a flower girl.”

Over time, Ravi and Sarah have been to a lot of other people’s weddings together. “In 2016, I think it was, we went to five weddings in just a few weeks!” laughs Sarah.

“We’ve picked up a lot over the years, about the ceremony, the attire, the DJ, even table names,” adds Ravi. But neither of them knew very much about humanist weddings before they started planning their own.

Finding the right wedding celebrant

They had already chosen their date and their venue. Somewhere that ticked all the boxes, including good food for Ravi, beautiful decor for Sarah, and a location that was easy for all their friends and family to reach. But then they discovered that the local registrar wasn’t available.

“This was months in advance!” remembers Ravi. “We started researching other options. We had waited such a long time to get married, so we wanted everything to be right. But it was lucky for us, in the end, that the register office didn’t have the space we wanted.

“We found our celebrant Katie on the Humanist Ceremonies website. We looked at lots of celebrants, and we felt good about her. She had a video so that we could see and hear her. That was very important – the celebrant is the first person the guests will meet, they need to be positive, vibrant, welcoming. We started communicating with her by email and then when we met, there was a good vibe.

Telling our story in a personal wedding ceremony

“We wanted the ceremony to be personal and meaningful. We wanted our story to be told. It’s quite a story – five children, 24 years, different cultures. Everyone there already knew the story, sort of, but we thought it was important for the kids to hear. We got together in 2000 but we knew each other in the 90s, that’s three decades!”

Sarah explains how the ceremony told their family’s story, in actions as well as words:

“Ravi came in first, then the children, then me. We had a live musician, a guitarist, who played a different song for each entrance.

“We had a unity candle. There was one main candle, which was lit by our mums who had one smaller candle each. We also had flower garlands, which are traditional in Indian weddings. Our dads put a garland on each of us.

What makes a long and happy relationship?

“Katie had an idea for us to write down our top tips for a long and happy relationship, and for the children to read them out. I remember we put things like, have lots of date nights…”

“…And if you have an argument to make it up quickly, don’t let it fester,” adds Ravi.

While their children and their parents were involved in the ceremony, the memory of other family members who couldn’t be there was also acknowledged and celebrated.

“Sarah’s nan, who was very close to her and to me, pushed us over the edge to get married,” says Ravi. “I remember sitting and talking with her for over an hour about it, and she told me not to worry about anything.

“Sadly, she passed away before the wedding, but she knew about our plans to get married. The day of our marriage was just a day before Sarah’s nan and grandad’s wedding anniversary. On our wedding day, we both wore lockets. Sarah’s had a picture of her nan and grandad, and I had one of my gran.”

It was an emotional day, leaving Ravi and Sarah with so many beautiful memories.

Ravi says: “There was a real emotional edge to seeing my daughters walking down the aisle – not just my beautiful bride, the woman I’d been with for a quarter of a century, but my children too. I thought I’d cry but I didn’t, well, not at that point. Sarah didn’t cry until the vows. Other people were crying before we were! I know I’m lucky to have such a beautiful family and to see them growing older.”

Looking back, Ravi is clear that the wedding was worth the wait:

“The food was good, so was the décor, but we got the most feedback from guests about the ceremony. Getting a celebrant was the best decision we made – apart from the decision to get married in the first place, of course!”

Thank you to Sarah and Ravi for sharing their reflections on their lovely humanist wedding, also huge thanks to their wedding photographer Richard from SpecularVisuals for these lovely images.

Their humanist wedding celebrant was the Katie Isles, a lover of weddings and a highly trained and accredited humanist celebrant based in Birmingham (but willing to travel).

Find out more about Katie and see how to get in touch here.

Find your local wedding celebrant

Planning a non-religious wedding? Find your local humanist celebrant by using the Humanist Ceremonies map and get in touch.

Find out more about humanist weddings

• What is a humanist wedding?
• 10 tips for an outdoor humanist wedding
• FAQs about humanist weddings
• Lewis & Imanina’s countryside elopement
• Lauren & Chris’ castle wedding in Northern Ireland