Talking about death isn’t always easy – but it can be one of the most important conversations we’ll ever have.
During Dying Matters Awareness Week 2025, we’re encouraging people to open up about end-of-life wishes and plans. These conversations may feel daunting at first, but they can bring clarity, comfort, and deeper connection. When we share what matters to us, how we want to be remembered, and the kind of farewell we’d like, we’re giving our loved ones the meaningful gift of peace of mind.
Here’s a gentle guide to help you begin those essential conversations.
Where would you want to be in your final days?
Some people want to remain at home, surrounded by familiar things and the people they love. Others may feel most comfortable in a hospice, where they can receive specialist care and support. Some might not have considered the question at all.
This is a conversation about what matters most to you – comfort, control, privacy, peace. Sharing your preferences can help your family or friends honour your wishes and advocate on your behalf if you’re unable to do so.
It’s also an opportunity to talk about your hopes around pain management, treatment, or the presence of particular people at your bedside.
💬 What kind of funeral would you want?
Funerals are personal. Some people picture a quiet, reflective service. Others imagine a vibrant celebration of life, full of music, stories, and laughter. There’s no right or wrong way – what matters is that it reflects you.
When you start talking about your funeral wishes, you might want to consider:
- Religious or non-religious funeral?
Would you prefer a non-religious ceremony led by a humanist celebrant, a faith-based service, or spiritual ceremony? - Burial, cremation, or other options? Natural burial, cremation, donation to medical science – your values and beliefs may shape your choice.
- Tone of the ceremony Do you imagine a serious and formal farewell, or something informal and uplifting?
- Who should lead it? If a non-religious ceremony would be authentic to you, a humanist celebrants would work with your family to create a personal, inclusive ceremony with warmth, meaning, and respect. If you’d like to plan your funeral ceremony yourself, many Humanist Ceremonies funeral celebrants are happy to work with you in advance, helping to shape a ceremony that truly reflects your life and wishes. You can find someone near you on our Pre-Planned Funeral Celebrant map.
- Where should it be held? A crematorium, natural burial ground, village hall, a hotel, or even your garden – there are many possibilities.
- Music, readings, and contributions: Is there a song that’s been the backing track through your life? A poem you love? Would you like family or friends to speak?
Having these conversations now, and even writing down your wishes, means your loved ones won’t have to guess. They can focus on grieving and remembering – knowing they’re doing what you would have wanted.
📝 Would you like to plan your funeral in advance?
You don’t need to have everything decided – but if you’ve thought about what kind of ceremony you’d like, you can speak with a celebrant to start shaping those ideas into a plan.
Humanist Ceremonies celebrants are trained to create bespoke, non-religious funerals that are deeply personal. They’ll take the time to get to know you, your values, your story, and your hopes for the ceremony. You can involve loved ones in the planning or keep it private – whatever feels right.
Some people even choose to write or record parts of their own ceremony, share a personal message, or select speakers in advance.
If you’d like to explore this, you can find a trusted, accredited celebrant through our Humanist Ceremonies network. Find out more about pre-planning a humanist funeral ceremony here.
🧡 How would you like to be remembered?
A meaningful part of these conversations is talking about your legacy. What are the values, memories, or qualities you hope will live on in others?
You might also ask your loved ones, ‘How would you want to remember me?’.
This can lead to surprisingly touching reflections – and give you insight into what parts of your life or character have meant the most to others.
These conversations can help shape the tone and content of your funeral or memorial ceremony too. Some may want humour and stories; others might find comfort in stillness or simplicity.
If you’re not a religious person you may be considering not having a funeral for yourself, or opting for an unattended or direct cremation, but it’s important to understand that a ceremony can be incredibly helpful for those who are grieving. It provides a space to come together, to share memories, and to acknowledge the life that has been lived. It allows loved ones to reflect your unique story, values, and the connections you’ve made – with warmth, honesty, and respect.
📦 What practical information should be shared?
As much as we may want to avoid talking about death, sharing a few key practical details is a real kindness to those we leave behind:
- The location of important documents (wills, insurance, identification)
- Funeral savings or any pre-paid funeral plans
- Your digital legacy: passwords, social media accounts, online banking
- Power of attorney or advance decisions
- Who you’d like to be informed of your death
Even a simple list in a notebook or a document stored somewhere accessible can help enormously.
Let’s talk – because dying matters
At Humanist Ceremonies, we believe that talking about death helps us live better. These aren’t morbid conversations – they’re deeply human ones.
This Dying Matters Awareness Week, consider starting the conversation. Ask a question, share a thought. You don’t have to cover everything in one go – but beginning to talk is what matters.
Because when the time comes, knowing your wishes will be a comfort and a guide to those who care about you.
Some helpful links:
Find a funeral celebrant near you
Thinking ahead: how to start organising and planning for death
Story: I planned my own humanist funeral so that I could get on with living life to the fullest
