Hi, I'm Ian
Funerals are for the living. They are a powerful and important way of coming to terms with a death.
We are all different. Each person will have a different way of digesting their loss.
A non-religious funeral starts with a blank page. There is no fixed structure or order of ceremony. It is for you to decide how you want to mark the passing of a loved one.
My job is to listen to you and suggest, based on experience of conducting a wide range of funerals, how you might want the ceremony to be structured. I can also suggest music, readings and poetry.
But, in my experience, though suggestions for structure may be helpful, suggestions for music, readings and poetry are not. People seem to have an instinct for what is right for them.
The process of creating a funeral usually starts with a family visit. Some families are organised and know what they want. Most are not.
So we talk. We talk about the deceased. We talk about the family. We talk about what might be appropriate. We talk about what might be possible. And after a while I get an idea of who the deceased was and what their family and friends are like. I get an idea of what sort of ceremony might reflect that.
Often, much of the work is done after that visit. The family decide on who will talk, what will be said, what music might suit.
With all this information I draft a ceremony. Ideally the family check and amend this draft. A funeral is no time for surprises.
During this period I also liaise with the funeral director and any other interested parties to minimise stress on the family.
On the day of the funeral I arrive before the mourners, check that the chapel is appropriately dressed, and that the organist and/or chapel assistant are briefed. I meet the family, give those that are to read their scripts (printed in large, easy to read font on card) and deal with any last minute issues that may arise (like the unexpected attendance of a relative). When the funeral director arrives I will introduce them to the family (if he or she has not met them before) and check that the family instructions are clear.
I conduct the funeral, supporting those who speak, if necessary.
After the funeral, I give the family a presentation version of the funeral script.
Ian Willox
Where I work
Cotswolds, Oxfordshire and the adjoining counties. I am happy to go further afield - especially for weddings.
Fees from...
£290
How to contact me
ian.willox@humanistceremonies.org.uk
Phone
Website
HUMANIST CEREMONIES™ is the network of more than 550 celebrants, trained by national charity Humanists UK to a gold standard to provide memorable and meaningful humanist ceremonies to non-religious people. Operating throughout England, Wales, Northern Ireland and the Channel Islands, we deliver authentic, tailor-made and heartfelt ceremonies for life’s key moments. They are always inclusive and welcoming, regardless of the beliefs of those attending.
You can trust Humanist Ceremonies celebrants: We are DBS-checked, fully insured, and regularly peer reviewed for quality assurance. We are committed to a code of conduct, and have a transparent and robust complaints process in the rare case of a problem. We all pay a monthly fee to Humanists UK to further support the work of the charity, and are part of a regional network for like-minded celebrants for support and learning.
Humanist funerals
Humanist funerals, memorials and ash ceremonies are a fitting way to honour a unique life with warmth, sensitivity and meaning, but without reference to religion or an afterlife. They put the story of the person who has died at the heart of the ceremony, paying tribute to them and the legacy they leave, and provide an opportunity to bring people together, not just to share sadness but to celebrate a life lived.
