We were not quite sure what to expect so we were more than pleasantly
surprised when Glen showed up at our family meeting and very gently and sympathetically
coaxed us into talking about my mum.
At moments like this, when the loss is very recent and emotions tend to be a bit raw,
sensitivity is of the highest importance and yet there is still a job to be done - which is to
make sure that the ceremony is properly planned and that the celebrant has a clear idea of both
who the person was in the fullest sense, and of the family’s wishes for the event.
In all of this Glen was magnificent. He brought with him the right balance of sensitivity,
experience and knowledge and most importantly, a genuine interest and curiosity in our
family. He steered us through some difficult moments. He didn’t baulk at digging deep, but
at the same time, he put us at our ease and managed to get our stories flooding out in
more or less the right order. When Glen was sure he had enough information, we already
felt the benefit of having had a genuinely special experience. Not only that Glen had talked
through the ceremony in great detail and let us know what to expect, and what options we had
and had even helped us plan our role in the ceremony itself.
After leaving the meeting Glen wrote up what he was intending to say and let us see it and
have input into it to correct and hone it. He also helped us define our contributions to
proceedings and created space to make sure that we could participate to full effect.
The result was that on the day of the funeral, people arrived and Glen led us through the
ceremony. Different members of the family played music, sang songs, did readings or just
shared memories. The whole thing felt like a real celebration of my mum’s life and when it
was over everyone (and I mean everyone) attending said what a great way it had been to
celebrate my mum’s life but that also, that the way it was done reflected the person she
was and the kind of things she valued. It was as if she had actually been there. Which in a
sense she had.
All this was in no small measure down to Glen. I cannot thank him enough or commend
him highly enough. In a calm understated way, he managed to create an event
which enabled us as a family to move on to the next stage of our lives, while at the same
time taking with us what was valuable and what we needed to keep.
No small feat, it was pretty much the perfect funeral.
