And I love a good chat.
It is a privilege to hear people’s stories, finding out what matters to them and discovering the things that make them who they are. I’m practical by nature and like getting things organised — perhaps unsurprisingly, given my years working in administration and accountancy.
Outside celebrancy, my life is fairly ordinary and varied — reading, sewing, a slightly optimistic attempt at running, volunteering in my local community and, perhaps most of all, talking to people. I enjoy good conversations, hearing different perspectives and finding out what makes people who they are.
That interest in people is useful in my work, but it isn’t why I became a celebrant. I wanted to help create funerals that are more individual — humanist funerals shaped around the person, rather than a standard ceremony that could belong to anyone.
As we talk, I listen for what matters and get to know the person whose life we are celebrating. Sometimes it is a story you have told a hundred times. Sometimes it is a tiny detail you had almost forgotten. Sometimes it is something you never expected to be important until you start talking about it. Together, those things create something that feels real — a ceremony that could belong to nobody else.
A humanist funeral is non-religious, but there is no single way to say goodbye. It can give people space to remember, feel what they need to feel and mark a life in a way that feels right for them. Whether quiet and reflective or full of laughter and stories, together we can create something personal, thoughtful and genuine.
A direct cremation does not have to mean saying goodbye without a ceremony. A separate memorial or celebration of life afterwards can give family and friends the opportunity to come together, remember, share stories and mark the life of someone they love — where and when the time feels right.
If you need help with planning ahead and want to think about and record the kind of ceremony you would like for yourself or someone you love, I can help. I also write ceremony scripts independently for families who have made other arrangements. When the time comes, I can conduct an interment or scattering of ashes, bringing people together to mark that moment.
For me, good preparation is at the heart of a good ceremony. I will never pretend to know someone’s story from a form or a few notes. I take the time to talk, listen and ask the questions that can uncover the memories, connections and small things that make a ceremony meaningful.
