Delivering a funeral speech, most commonly known as a eulogy or tribute, is a profound act of love and remembrance. It’s an opportunity to honour a unique life, share cherished memories, and articulate what made someone special to you and others.
In humanist funerals, memorials, or celebration of life a non-religious ceremony is carefully and sensitively crafted to celebrate an individual life – the funeral speech or eulogy often takes centre stage. It becomes the central focus of the ceremony, focusing entirely on the person’s life story, their unique personality, their passions, relationships, and lasting legacy. This guide offers insights and practical advice on writing and delivering a heartfelt funeral speech, particularly within the warm and personal context of a humanist service.
What is a Eulogy?
A eulogy is simply a speech given at a funeral or memorial ceremony in commemoration of the person who has died. The word itself comes from Greek, meaning “good words” or “praise.” Its purpose is to:
- Honour the person’s life and memory.
- Provide comfort to grieving friends and family.
- Share insights into the person’ s character and personality.
- Celebrate their achievements,interests , and relationships.
- Acknowledge their impact on the lives of others.
The Eulogy in a Humanist Funeral
Because humanist funerals are non-religious and entirely focused on the individual, the eulogy is especially significant. It’s not secondary to prayers or scripture; it is the core tribute, often led by the celebrant with contributions from family and friends Humanist Ceremonies celebrants work closely with families to ensure the eulogy is accurate, personal, and captures the essence of the person being remembered. If you are going to write a eulogy, your celebrant will advise you how much time you have, so that it fits within the time allocation of the ceremony.
How to Approach Writing a Funeral Speech
Writing a eulogy can feel daunting, but focusing on the person makes it manageable.
- Gather Information & Memories:
- Think about key life milestones (birth, education, career, family).
- Recall their personality traits (humour, kindness, determination, quirks).
- Remember their hobbies, passions, and interests.
- Reflect on significant relationships.
- Jot down specific anecdotes and stories that illustrate who they were. Talking to other friends and family can be invaluable here.
- Decide on a Structure: There’s no single right way, but common approaches include:
- Chronological: Following their life story from beginning to end.
- Thematic: Focusing on key aspects of their life (e.g., family, career, passions).
- Relationship-Based: Highlighting their connections with different people.
- Anecdotal: Weaving together key stories and memories.
- Draft the Speech:
- Opening: Briefly introduce yourself (if necessary) and your relationship to the person. State the purpose – to remember and celebrate them.
- Body: Share the stories, memories, and reflections you gathered. Use specific examples. Don’t just say they were kind; share a story that shows their kindness. Balance achievements with personality. Include warmth and perhaps gentle humour if appropriate.
- Closing: Summarise their impact or legacy. Offer a final thought or a simple statement of love and loss.
- Refine and Practice:
- Keep it Concise: Work to the time allocation that the celebrant has advised – you can assume 130/140 words per minute when you are reading. Read it Aloud: This helps catch awkward phrasing and check the timing.
- Tone: Ensure the tone feels authentic to you and respectful to the person.
- Proofread: Check for any errors. Get a second pair of eyes if possible.
Tips for Delivery
- Speak clearly and slowly.
- It’s okay to show emotion. Have tissues handy.
- Have a printed copy in a large font.
- Make eye contact with attendees if you feel comfortable.
- Smile if you are telling a funny story, so that people know that they can laugh.
- Pause when you need to.
- Remember you are among people who share your loss and appreciation for the person.
- Don’t forget – your celebrant can read your eulogy for you, if you feel overwhelmed on the day, or step in at some point if you would like them to take over the reading.
The Role of the Humanist Celebrant
A Humanist Ceremonies celebrant can provide significant support. They can help gather memories, structure the eulogy, write it entirely based on your input, or simply offer guidance and feedback on a draft you’ve written. They ensure the funeral speech fits seamlessly within the overall ceremony they craft.
For comprehensive guidance and support in preparing a funeral speech:
- Read Our Guide: Access practical tips and steps in our dedicated blog post: “What is a eulogy and how do I write one”: https://humanists.uk/ceremonies/funerals/blog/what-is-a-eulogy-and-how-do-i-write-one/
- Find a Celebrant: Connect with a Humanist celebrant who can assist you in preparing or delivering the eulogy as part of a personal Humanist funeral: https://humanists.uk/ceremonies/find-a-celebrant/
- Learn About Humanist Funerals: Understand how these ceremonies place the life story at the heart of the farewell: https://humanists.uk/ceremonies/funerals/home/
Additional Resources
